Today is my darling mother’s 56th birthday and since this is mum’s first birthday since me being away at University, I thought would dedicate a post to the most important woman in my life… (I was gonna say the first woman I met but technically I think you were like 5th or 6th). So here is my letter to the bestest woman I know.
Dear Momma,
I know you think this year’s birthday is nothing special but really every one of your birthday’s is special cause it’s yours.
I am sorry it took me leaving home to understand how underappreciated you are and how I made you feel. It must have been hard being mum and dad, but it was a job you did wonderfully and with grace. I hope I never go through what you did because I don’t think I have the strength that you do.
Thank you for never showing us when you were upset, apart from the once when I wrote you a card saying, ‘I hope you stop crying’, which you laminated because I don’t think you had ever actually read what was on the card! But when we were kids, I never was able to tell when you were struggling and that alone is testament to how flawlessly you did your job as our mum.
We might fight more now than we used to, but I wasn’t going to the golden child forever (lol) and I think our views clash quite a bit, but I never feel a lack of love and support from you. Some kids don’t feel any support from their parents or they cannot talk to each other which I find insane because I could never imagine not being able to come to you when I’m feeling lost. Some people think it’s weird that we argue very loudly and then five seconds later are the bestest of friends but that’s how we work, we don’t hide from each other and I think the bond we share as mother, daughters and sisters are some of the strongest that I can think of.
I’m sorry that me and Kate always take the piss out of you but if you stopped being so entertaining for five minutes then we wouldn’t need to, so realistically that is your fault. Nevertheless, the laughs that we have shared as a family are some of the best memories that I have and to be honest, the times I have laughed the hardest in my life has been with you and Kate (see below for a perfect example!)
Everyone loves you and everyone is obviously going to say that their mother is the best in the world but sometimes I feel sorry for some people who don’t have you as a mum. I feel very lucky to have such a fun-loving, caring, and compassionate mother, even though, your want to care for people gets you stuck in awkward situations and then your children have to teach you how to say, ‘NO!’. One day I'm sure you will learn, Michelle ;)
You always say how much I remind you of dad (still not sure if that’s a good thing or not…) so I don’t think there is many things I inherited from you but then again I think the reason we clash so much is that we are more alike than different. Regardless, here’s some of the things that I’m sure I got from you and am very proud of:
Firstly, I obviously got my hair from you which is my favourite physical quality so thank you momma!
My ever so slight Brummy twang where I forget the letter "T" exists, my "TH"s become "F"s, words with "U" in the middle prove to be challenging to say 'the correct way' and "forehead" becomes "forrid".
I swear as I get older, my laugh is getting as loud as yours, but you never cared about who you disturbed with your loud laugh, so I won’t either.
Your ability to communicate feelings very eloquently through pen and paper, so I think it is safe to credit you for my desire to write.
Your ability to give wonderful cuddles – I get told frequently that my cuddles are top notch but I’ve learnt that from being cuddled so much by you growing up.
Our bark is always worse than our bite and sometimes, we bark a lot in private but then get too scared to say anything. However, when it comes to the people we care most about, we will do anything and defend them with our everything.
I still have some growing up and maturing to do but I hope by the time I’m a parent too that I am capable of being half the parent that you have been to me and Kate. I admire you so much, Momma, you care more for anyone else than you do for yourself and you have the most beautiful soul because of it. Me and Kate are big girls now so I think it is time to stop thinking about us and living your life for you. I know you'll say that you're our mother so you will never stop living for our happiness but there's nothing left to protect us from because hopefully all the absolute shit we have gone through as a family is over and we don't need to protected the way you have done for us ever again. To be honest, I don't think any of us could deal with anymore, do you? That is the challenge I set to you for your 56th year, live this year for you and you, alone.
Love you endlessly, Momma Bear, the only parent I will ever need.
Your eldest,
Soph xx
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